Body image issues are real. We all, at some point or the other, have been dissatisfied with the way we look. It could be anything – excess weight, a zit, a slightly long-ish nose, a crooked tooth or a scar.
But what if that feeling of dissatisfaction develops into a disorder? What if your fixation with an aspect of your appearance turns you into a recluse? How do you deal with immeasurable self-pity that accompanies it?
What leads people towards this self-ostracisation? Shame, self-loathing, disgust and a compulsive desire to “fit-in”.
When shame associated with body image gets the better of you, when imperfections is all you see in the mirror, you might be suffering from what is medically called Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder, if left unattended, can progress into obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression. In some cases, it leads to patients picking up eating disorders which wreck havoc on their physical and mental health.Dr Madhumati Singh, Senior Psychologist
Look Out for Signs
- Over-analysing the way you look
- Gettig fixated to a flaw or blemish
- Constantly staring at the mirror or avoiding it altogether
- Seeking validation and reassurance from others
- Opting for corrective cosmetic surgeries
- Avoiding social interactions
- Body shaming and inflicting self-harm
- Feeling bogged down by shame, disgust, anxiety
How do you tell if you are just unhappy with your appearance or suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder?
Body Dysmorphic Disorder leaves one completely hassled and therefore, easy to diagnose says Dr Itisha Nagar, psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Delhi.
The moment your thoughts about your appearance start interfering with your day to day activities and start bothering others is when you need to step back and think.
She says patients of Body Dysmorphic Disorder can spend several hours in a day just obsessing over their looks – worrying about their blemishes, applying creams and in extreme cases opting for multiple corrective surgeries.
Dysfunctional behaviour then is what marks the distinction between Body Dysmorphic Disorder and a fleeting feeling of dissatisfaction with your body.
Popular Culture, Social Media Make It Worse
FIT got in touch with a person who is battling Body Dysmorphic Disorder, who on conditions of anonymity shared her ordeal,
I would look at women around me – their arms, lips and breasts and compare them to my body. I would feel miserable, sometimes suicidal. I was struggling...sinking.
The desire for fuller lips, straight hair, thigh gap etc is to a large extent fueled by popular culture. The glitz and glamour on celluloid, the perfectly chiselled bodies on magazine covers and social media all contribute to this feeling of imperfection. It is for a reason that the million-dollar beauty industry is thriving.
Social media has a fair share of blame to take. When we see people like us – friends, family and colleagues – wear the best clothes, get attention and look flawless, we jump on to the FOMO bandwagon.
This feeling of being too short or too tall or too big is founded on years of conditioning and patriarchy – a double edged sword which oppresses both men and women. We inadvertantly and unconsciously take people for idols and admonish ourselves for not matching up – for not being good enough.
This can happen to the best of us and even to fitness junkies and people with seemingly enviable bodies. Remember Ileana D’Cruz opening up on her Body Dysmorphic Disorder?
Our Ideas of Beauty Are Flawed
You think the model you look up to is blemish-free? Actresses and models are immune to dark circles, wrinkles and stretch marks?
It takes generous droppings of photoshop, dollops of makeup, lights and technology to create that beautiful illusion which we fool ourselves into believing.
Judging ourselves by these unrealistic yardstick is bound to bring misery and unhappiness.
Layers of corporate and patriarchal mechanisms have fed us this ideal notions of beauty which in reality are non-existent. The undying obsession with fair skin and slimmer bodies is contributing to and maintaining this dangerous status-quo.Dr Itisha Nagar, Psychologist and Assistant Professor at the University of Delhi
Our notions of beauty are flawed. Our perceptions are mistaken. Our disdain for imperfection manufactured.
Even Bollywood star and fashionista Sonam Kapoor testified to this in her blog post titled “I Didn't Wake Up Like This” for Buzzfeed India last year.
It takes an army, a lot of money, and an incredible amount of time to make a female celebrity look the way she does when you see her. It isn’t realistic, and it isn’t anything to aspire to.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder Is Gender Neutral
It is easier to identify body image complexes in women. Afterall, they have been subjected to the harshest form of scrutiny over the years. But men too are sailing in the same boat.
I would say the ratio is 50-50. Men get fixated on body flaws as much as women, if not more. The desire for flat abs, carved out bodies is almost pervasive.Dr Madhumati Singh, Senior Psychologist
Let It Out, Seek Help
Body Dysmorphic Disorder is not irreversible. But be wary of self-diagnosis. Seek help, reach out.
Grooming certainly helps in some cases. Then there are medications, counseling and psychotherapy.Dr Itisha Nagar, Psychologist and Assistant Professor at the University of Delhi
A psychologist primarily works at understanding the patient’s dysfunctional thoughts, monitors them over a period of time and helps reduce their occurrence by therapy.
Cognitive behaviour therapy is effective against Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Then there is solution-focus therapy, psychodynamic therapy, psychoanalysis and more.Sudha Shashwati, Research Scholar, Psychology and Former Assistant Professor, University of Delhi
Even before thinking of therapy, I would suggest reaching out to people you trust – friends, family, colleagues. It is crucial to have a support system to fall back on in times of distress.Dr Madhumati Singh, Senior Psychologist
“Focusing on the positives goes a long way in boosting self-esteem which takes a major hit when one is suffering from BDD”, she adds.
Also Read: How to Love Someone With Depression
Seeking help is one aspect, but a shift in attitude is what we should be aiming at. According to Dr Itisha, we need to create safe spaces to let out our insecurities.
Talking about your problems is the first step to recovery. Knowing you aren’t alone in the muck can be reassuring.Dr Itisha Nagar, Psychologist and Assistant Professor at the University of Delhi
Parenting plays a crucial role in nurturing some of these insecurities. Casual remarks like, “kitni kaali hai, isse shaadi kaun karega?”, “moti ho gai”, “swimming mat karo, tan ho jaogi”, leave an indelible mark on a child’s psyche.
We Need to Break Stereotypes, One at a Time
The idea that a woman’s worth is directly proportional to her desirability needs to be shunned. Physical attractiveness shouldn’t dictate a woman’s worth or for that matter a man’s.
Beauty standards cannot be water-tight. Body diversities need to be celebrated.
Media needs to be proactive in breaking age-old stereotypes about beauty and attraction.Dr Itisha Nagar, Psychologist and Assistant Professor at the University of Delhi
Recovery from Body Dysmorphic Disorder cannot happen through therapy alone. It needs a tectonic shift in attitude and that is a challenge we face, collectively, as a society.
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