How Do You Identify a Compulsive Liar?

How Do You Identify a Compulsive Liar?

Legendary actor Rekha made the role of a compulsive liar famous in the popular film, Jooti, literally meaning a liar. A more recent Netflix French series Mythomaniac, also deals with a woman who compulsively lies.

We lie all the time. For the call that we don’t wish to answer, for reaching late to work, or for that family dinner that we’re too lazy to attend.

So when does this lying become a sign of an underlying mental health issue? How does this differ from a more serious, more compulsive urge to lie?

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Pathological Lying: The Lack of a Definition

Compulsive lying, pathological lying, mythomania, and pseudologia fantastica — numerous names, numerous definitions. While the behaviour has been observed since as long as science can fathom, there is still no universal way to describe it.

“Lying comes naturally to such an individual.”

But most definitions agree on a few basic points. Pathological lying seems to have no real motive or benefit to it, and even if it does, the lie is way out of proportion to any possible benefit. Dr Kamna Chhibber, Clinical Psychologist and Head of the Mental Health Department at Fortis Healthcare explains,

Dr Kamna Chhibber“We’re looking at someone who repeatedly and compulsively tends to create false stories, even when there’s no real need to do it. It’s very impulse-related and there’s hardly ever a conscious thought that goes in. It comes naturally to such an individual.”

At a lot of these times, such individuals are unable to resist the urge to lie, even when they are aware of the fact that they’re lying. “And that’s the key highlight of this problem,” says Dr Kamna.

To be clear, pathological lying is not yet considered a disorder in itself. In most cases, it is seen as a sign and symptom of another clinical syndrome.

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No Motive, No Purpose; Then What Explains the Urge?

More often than not, pathological lying follows an underlying personality disorder, such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder.

Soumiya Mudgal, Consultant, Psychiatry at Max Multi Speciality Centre, Gurugram, explains that this sort of behaviour can also be seen in people with low self-esteem who want to portray a ‘better’ or more ‘likable’ version of themselves.

Soumiya Mudgal“A lot of them do it to seek gratification, attention and to project a bigger and better image of the self.”

Such tendencies could also be traced back to a person’s childhood and life experiences, Dr Chhibber says. “Nobody is born a liar. People pick up the habit during the course of their lives, maybe because their experiences have made them realise that the truth isn’t as easily accepted as a false explanation.”

Dr Kamna Chhibber“For instance, children who live in constant fear of getting reprimanded by their parents, teachers or any other authority figure, will want to go to any extent to avoid such an outcome. This is where they start lying about things, and eventually make a habit out of it, so much so that even when they don’t mean to do it, it comes out almost automatically.”

Another trait that marks the behaviour of these individuals is the conviction with which they lie - it becomes hard to not believe them. But does this mean they believe the lie themselves? According to Mudgal, that’s not a very plausible explanation.

Soumiya Mudgal“No, they don’t really believe the lie, it’s not a case of delusion. Lying just becomes a part of their personality. They know what they are doing, but they aren’t able to control it, which is what makes it compulsive.”

Moreover, Dr Chhibber adds that if a person is seen to be believing his/her lies and is disoriented to that extent, then the case is much more severe than that of compulsive lying, and would perhaps fall under a diagnosable psychotic condition.

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Identifying and Dealing With a Compulsive Liar

If you realize that the person’s version of the story does not correspond to reality, take it up with them.

Considering how good a compulsive liar could be at lying, it's only possible to look through the lies when a sufficient amount of time has been spent with the individual.

Dr Kamna Chhibber“When you notice that the stories told by the person do not corroborate to reality and when across multiple situations, he/she has ‘constructed’ scenarios, then you might sense that something’s off.”

It's important to take it up with the person. Be forthright in stating that you have noticed a tendency and inaccuracy. If they're not confronted, they get validation, which gives them the confidence to continue lying. "Be direct, be supportive and be empathetic. Encourage them to seek help. But remember, it's not your duty to change the person. You can only try."

Soumiya Mudgal agrees when she says that therapy needs to be a self-motivated thing. Others could help show a person the mirror, but the need to seek help should come from within.

Soumiya Mudgal“The behaviour becomes so integrated in their personality that cognitive behaviour therapy could only work if they are ready to change themselves. There’s no medication for the tendency, but therapeutic methods can be helpful to tap into the reasons why they are lying.”

Dr Chhibber explains that since the genesis of pathological lying can, in most cases, be seen in past experiences of socialisation, therapy helps these individuals understand that who they are is acceptable. Even if there are areas of their functioning that they think are not ‘ideal’, there is absolutely no need to construct a false image.

In the case of children, she says that parents need to be observant of such a pattern and recognise the lying tendency at the earliest. They need to sit with the child and explain that lying is only fetching them temporary results. This can perhaps be communicated through a person the child looks up to. "Focus on reinforcing the strengths of the children instead of weaknesses. Make them realise that they don't need to create a false image, that they are accepted the way they are."

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