SEXOLVE 210: My 32-Year-Old Girlfriend Is Dating a 19-Year-Old

It is always advisable that we don’t form permanent feelings about temporary moments.

Updated22 Jun 2020, 05:12 AM IST
Sexolve
4 min read

Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.

If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.

This week’s Q&As below:

‘My Girlfriend Had Sex With Her Neighbour’s Son Who Was Barely 19’

SEXOLVE 210: My 32-Year-Old Girlfriend Is Dating a 19-Year-Old
(Photo: Unsplash)

Dear RainbowMan,

I am a 32-year-old unmarried man with a girlfriend Anjali for 3 years. She is also unmarried and of my age. She has been in a couple of relationships before me. She and I have been in a long distance and so there has been this fight to keep in touch with each other. The fact that we feel so much urge for sex, we have opened our relationship. I have another steady girlfriend Tina with whom I have wholesome sex. Now, she had a sexual encounter recently with her neighbour’s son who was barely 19. This is causing me serious trouble. I feel she is being really unreasonable. I don’t mind her finding someone, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know how she could do with a 19-year-old. I don’t know how to tell you but I do feel miserable doing this.

Just Another Rahul

Dear Just Another Rahul,

Thank you so much for writing in. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but distance also could put strains on our physical, psychological and mental well-being. I get the point that since you and Anjali are distant from each other physically, you have decided to open up your relationship. You both need to decide if this is a temporary set up or a permanent one.

It is always advisable that we don’t form permanent feelings about temporary moments.

The fact that you call Tina, your other “steady girlfriend”, got me confused. Does Anjali know about Tina, and does Tina know about Anjali. Is this an ethical polygamous relationship? If you come to a point in a life where you have to choose between Tina and Anjali, where would that go?

Also, if you are open to the idea of your relationship being open, then how is it justified with regards to Anjali that you get into a complete relationship with another steady girlfriend, but have an issue with Anjali having a fling with another consenting adult.

The age of the consenting adult is immaterial, as long as he is an adult. I think it is grossly unfair that you judge her for that while you continue with a full-fledged relationship with another woman.

Real life may be quite different from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, naah?

Love,

RainbowMan

P.S. If Rahul has found his Tina, it's wise that Anjali finds her Aman.

‘I Need Bigger Breasts’

Dear RainbowMan,

I have been having very small breasts. I have been called flat-chested all my life. I have a girlfriend who has a big breast. She told me yesterday that when she makes love to me she thinks she is making love to a man, because of my flat chest. I can’t deal with this. She told me this the seventh time in the past week.

Yesterday she also said that she may want to open the relationship because she wants to have someone she can fondle more with. She told me something in a harsh tone in the middle of sex. I am depressed and want to do something about getting bigger breasts else my girlfriend would leave me. She is not a bad person. She just needs more surface area to fondle, I don’t blame her. Please don’t think bad of her. I just want her to get better sex with me.

Regards,

Upset Girl

Dear Girl,

Thank you so much for your mail. We all deserve love. I have been in love, and guess I am perpetually in love and guess I personally know a thing or two about what it means to go an extra mile for the ones you love. And I am so happy that you have found someone to love.

I appreciate that there is a continuous flow of love from you to her. You give your partner the love that you have reserved for yourself too. How would you replenish your share of love for yourself?

You love your partner so much that you are willing to change your body to match her desires. If you change so much of yourself for her, you stand the danger of becoming someone you don’t recognise yourself.

True love, will love the lover in every form.

Smiles

RainbowMan

P.S. Love is true when love remains even lovers are truest to who they really are.

‘The Taste of My Sperm Is Changing’

SEXOLVE 210: My 32-Year-Old Girlfriend Is Dating a 19-Year-Old
(Photo: Unsplash)

Dear RainbowMan,

I am a 28-year-old man. I hope you don’t judge me. I love drinking semen. I have been tasting my sperm from the age of 19. I like the taste, but over time, the taste of semen is changing. What can I do to ensure that the taste remains the same? Will drinking sperm cause me any damage.

Regards

Drinker

Dear Drinker,
To drink the sperm of another is not an uncommon fantasy. I am not shocked or amazed when someone drinks their own sperm either. This is a non-judgemental space.

Sperms have fructose, calcium, protein, and other properties. Mostly it is not unhealthy, but in some cases, people are allergic to semen. I have read that our dietary patterns affect the taste of sperm.

Hugs,
RainbowMan

P.S.again, no judgments.

(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children, and animals)

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Published: 21 Jun 2020, 01:18 PM IST
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