Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.
If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality or your relationship, and need some advice, answers or just someone to hear you out – write in to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop in a mail to sexolve@thequint.com.
This week’s Q&As below:
'I Have Affection For My Wife's Younger Sister'
I'm a married 45-year-old man, having children and enjoying life with my wife. I have affection towards my wife’s younger sister. Actually she likes to talk to me including indirect sexual jokes. She is a married woman and I would like to have sex with her because of her attractive body shape which is impressing me. My question is how to approach her for sex as in my understanding she is not happy with her husband and sexual life.
Thanks with regards,
Man In Love
P.S. Love grows with sharing.
Dear Man In Love,
Greetings from the RainbowMan.
I like what you wrote in your PS. Indeed, love grows by sharing. However while you have so much love to share, there needs to be equal enthusiasm in accepting your love.
You are attracted to her body, okay? But what makes you assume that she finds your body attractive too? Shouldn’t attraction be a two way street?
Also considering that she and you are both married persons; do your respective legal matrimonial partners know about it? How do you plan to navigate that route?
Asking her for sex may not be taken in the spirit you imagine. Why do you want to spoil the relationship with your wife and her relationship with her husband. Isn't it better to have a heart to heart chat with your wife with whom you share a good relationship, by your own confession and try to better your relationship with her without any diversions.
We get sexually attracted to many people. But there’s a thing called commitment.
Smiles
RainbowMan
'I am in Love with My Father's Colleague'
Dear RainbowMan,
My father has his own private company. He is doing really well and ensures that he has a group of interns from management institutes for regular projects. An evening, around last week when I was at his office, I had the chance to meet this really cute guy who had joined in. I don’t think he had any clue that I was the bosses child. He asked me out on the first day itself and by evening we were smooching and over each other sexually. It was kind of the most amazing part of my life. We were not boyfriends per se, but he is one of the most important parts of my life. However, since he got to know how I am related to his boss he has been very distant. I love him. How do I solve this?
Love in Hierarchy
Dear Love in Hierarchy,
Thank you so much for writing in.
Love happens. It just happens. It doesn’t care for hierarchy. It doesn’t care for gender. It doesn’t care for age. It just happens.
I am glad that you have been woken by the realisation of love. I understand why your lover has apprehensions. Maybe, they may seem baseless to you as you are in the position of privilege. Maybe, he thinks that your relationship with him will have a direct correlation with his work. Maybe he is scared of losing his job. Or maybe some other reason.
I urge you to do that most important thing that needs to be done in a relationship… Speak. Speak to him and understand where he is coming from. Comfort him with your words. Find out solutions together.
Love get better with conversations
Hugs,
RainboMan
P.S. Speak to his heart. Speak to his mind.
'It Takes An Hour For Me To Come'
Dear RainbowMan,
I am suffering from delayed ejaculations. I keep masturbating and masturbating and masturbating but I take over half an hour to an hour to come. I don’t know how to solve this.
Love
Mr Late
Dear Mr Late,
Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life. I know it could get frustrating to have delays in orgasm that seem longer than what you expect.
Kindly see a doctor – a sexologist to be precise. Discuss this with them and find out how you could better your situation.
Do not hesitate in matters relating to health, sexual health included.
Regards
RainbowMan
P.S. It gets better.
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