Sexolve 246: ‘Will She Get Pregnant Because of Anal Sex?’

(Trigger Warning: Some questions could make you feel agitated. Reader discretion is advised.)

Sexolve is equal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A space on FIT.

If you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers, or just someone to hear you out – write to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it for you. Drop-in a mail to [e-mail].

This week’s Q&As are below:

Will She Get Pregnant Because Of Anal Sex?

Dear RainbowMan,

I am a 22 year old man in love with a 23 year old girl. There is a little problem that I am facing. I have been involved since the past 4 years, it is only now that I got to get more physical with her.

It was the first time we were having sex together but also the first time we were having sex at all. I did not want to have a condom in between our skins so I did something that probably any thinking man would have done – I had sex from the behind. She has bubble butts so it was pleasurable. 

I thought entering from behind would also give us the pleasure of being loved and snuggle without the fear of the pregnanc

The problem is that this was the first time and I ended up coming too much. I mean, it was all liquid all over her ass. It was almost like she was drenched in my sperm there in the anal region. I am now wondering what if this sperm flows from inside the anus to her vagina, from internal transportation of the body… in that case she will get pregnant?

Do you know of cases of women getting pregnant because of back entry. I also had another issue, I know it is a stupid act, but I licked her anus and then licked her vagina. When I licked her anus after coming, I tasted my own sperm, then I licked her vagina, so maybe, just maybe, my sperm got transported externally to her vagina through my mouth acting as a vehicle.

So that means there has been both external and internal transportation. Will she get pregnant?

We are too young, still just college students. We are not ready for a child. I hope you don’t dismiss this as silly. Please help us

Not Any Father

Dear Not Any Father,

Thank you for writing in. No worry is silly. We all have had challenging moments in our life we were caught between science and anxiety. I have been there too.

I know that our minds dangerously imagine the worst outcomes coming true. Much of it, as you know, is often a figment of our imagination.

Now, let me assure you, that science always weighs higher than the anxiety of fiction.

Okay, let me share something with you, very clearly –

Anal sex doesn’t and cannot lead to pregnancy. No one, in the history of humankind has been ever been impregnated because of anal sex.

Now, let me look at the scenarios you mentioned.

The sperm will not travel from her anus to her vagina internally. There is no internal route that connects the anus to the uterus and vagina that could facilitate the transport of what comes inside the anus to be transported to the vagina. They are separate.

In the second scenario, sperms don’t survive in the mouth for long. So if you have sperm in your mouth and then your mouth makes contact with a vagina, the sperm would be immotile by the time they make contact with the vagina.

For the possibility of pregnancy at least one motile sperm has to survive the journey from the penis to the anus to the mouth to the saliva to the vagina to the egg and then it needs to be motile enough to unite with the egg to make a baby. And though there would seem the possibility of such bravado by a single sperm on theory, practically the probability is almost zero.

So don’t worry. In all probability, you are not a father, irrespective of whether your mouth or any other body part was the vehicle.

That said, you could request your partner to get a rapid pregnancy test done if you guys are worried. It will put your worries to rest.

Smiles

RainbowMan

I Have Desires With Younger People, Is That a Crime?

Dear RainbowMan,

I am a 46 year old man and I get attracted only to twinks. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t had sex or approached anyone that way or even gotten close to anyone in that close proximity who is any minor, but I get attracted to them. And this attraction causes me anxiety. What do I do about it?

Also, does getting such thoughts by itself make me a criminal? I mean, if someone scans my brain and finds out that I have sexual thoughts, sometimes for people who are 18 will that make me a criminal?

I have never watched porn that involves people younger than 18. I have never even stared at younger people or groped or anything close to that. It is just in my head. I have had sex, with consent, only with 18 and above. But does the thought in itself make me a criminal? How do I control these thoughts?

Love Challenged

Dear Love Challenged,

Thank you for your trust and for your courage to confess something so deep and personal.

Let me jump right in and share about the law in our country.

We have a law called Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act 2012 (POCSO) and amendments therein, where in even non contact abuse is classified as a crime - the act of consumption of pornography involving persons under the age of 18, exposing oneself in front of an individual who is under the age of 18, triggering the undressing and watching a person under the age of 18 undress themselves is all a crime. Touching, feeling. Speaking sexually can all be construed as a crime under POCSO.

However, read this very clearly, in this case, or any other case.

Imagination of the crime is not a crime. Just because you think of something, you cannot be arrested or prosecuted.

Let me explain with another example. If I wish someone dead in my head, because they are plain annoying, it cannot be considered as a crime. However, if I actually murder the person, it is obviously a crime. It could also be a crime if I put out the name of the person and say that I want to have the person murdered or if I tell someone that I want to have a person murdered. However, just in my head, wishing death or murder, is legally not a crime, until it is just in my head and not overflowing as words verbally or on paper or the actual act of it is all a crime.

You get attracted to younger people but you have not enacted or executed your attractions in any form. So you are clear from a criminality point of view.

However, I understand, that personally, you could be facing a lot of challenges in the constant task of keeping your emotions under control. If you enact, one of your thoughts in action, you will land up in a legal soup. I want you to know that there is a facility in KEM hospital in Pune that you can have access to. Please visit www.dontoffendindia.org and www.troubled-desire.com to deal with your troubled desires. There are a group of mental health professionals who could work towards helping you keep your “non offending status” constant with no diversion.

Please watch this video by my friend, clinical psychologist Suchismita Bose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7zapisoXyo&ab_channel=DontOffendIndia

Please know that there is help available. You are not alone. And you can write to them and am sure that they will be happy to help.

Smiles

RainbowMan

P.S. Write to them, please.

Am I Gay?

Dear RainbowMan,

Am I gay if I love gay films or love pink? Because I actually love pink and love gay films.

Happy And Gay?

Dear Happy,

Thank you for writing to me.

You are gay only if you identify as gay.

You are not gay if you watch gay films. That only means you have interest in diverse themes of films.

you are not gay if you love pink and love wearing pink (that could mean you have good taste of fashion :p )
More importantly you are not gay if people tell you or presume that you are gay. You are gay only when you assert and confirm that you are gay.

Smiles

RainbowMan

P.S. Be the truest version of yourself. Live your truth. Sexuality, gender, immaterial.

(Harish Iyer is an equal rights activist working for the rights of the LGBT community, women, children and animals)