That kid in the mall, face down, sprawled on the floor, wailing and throwing a tantrum for the toy the parents don’t want to buy, or that one who sulks and broods just because the rest of the children did not want to play the game his way.
A mother I know was so guilty of working and not spending enough time with the child on a weekday that she compensated for it by indulging her child on the weekend. Expensive toys, food at expensive restaurants and everything that the child wanted was laid out on a platter.
Some of the factors that lead to a child being spoiled are over-indulgence, giving in to the demands of the child, not disciplining them enough and not correcting their behaviour.
If, as a parent, you are worried that your child may be spoiled, watch out for these 8 signs.
My Way or The Highway
The tantrum till you give in to exactly what the child wants is a sure shot sign of a child who is verging on being spoiled. While most parents would succumb to it to avoid a scene, especially if they are outdoors, it is a sign that the child knows how to get things done their way. Letting the child respect others decisions is important here.
The Non-sharer
The child asks with authority for others to share their toys, but refuses to part with his own toys. Familiar sight? The sense of entitlement and believing that they deserve everything that they ask for, are signs of trouble.
Start small, teach the child the importance of sharing and it will help them to build stronger and better bonds.
Wants More and More
While their share of chocolates is tucked away in a safe place, they ask their siblings or the parents to share more. But when it comes to sharing their chocolates, it’s a no-no! These are signs of the child becoming selfish. This comes with the fact that parents do not encourage the concept of sharing for the child.
Teach your child to share, to understand that their need is not greater than others.
It is Never Enough
The friend will have the better toy, the neighbour’s child will have the collection of bey blades that he wanted first, or someone he knows will have the better version of the video game. Forget the pile of toys that they already have, the list is endless. They want more all the time.
Teaching them to be happy with the things that they have is the key to parenting here.
Always Needs Bailing
A few months ago when my child came back home after losing an expensive toy, we sent him right back to search for it. Not that we could not replace it, but we did not want to replace it.
Bailing them out in every situation will make them dependent on you and they will not learn to be responsible.
Doesn't Value Things
When was the last time you let your child “earn” something that they truly deserved? If they have never waited to or saved up to buy something special, and have always demanded it and you have relented to buying it for them, you are raising a child who may become ‘spoiled’.
Don’t give in, let them know and understand that not everything can be obtained easily.
They Never Get Punished
Bad behaviour needs to be checked and in some cases punishment or a timeout is important. Children need to know when they have erred and face the consequences. You should not be apologetic about punishing a child if they are at fault.
Suffers from Superiority Complex
As parents, we love to shower compliments and praise them. But when the children refuse to accept that someone else can be better than them, is a red flag you need to watch out for. Let them know that there will be people better than them.
As a parent, I understand that we want to give the best to our children. Sometimes we forget to draw the line between what is needed and what is not. For example, when you ask your child to do a task, it should be obeyed and you don’t need to bribe or cajole the child to do it. It may take a village to raise a child, but good parenting is enough to raise a good child.
(Pratibha Pal spent her childhood in idyllic places only fauji kids would have heard of. She grew up reading a variety of books that let her imagination wander and still hopes to come across the Magic Faraway Tree. When she's not rooting for eco-living or whipping up some DIY recipes to share with her readers, Pratibha is creating magic with social media. You can view her blog at www.pratsmusings.com or reach to her on Twitter at @myepica.)
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